the art of making yourself want to crawl into a hole in the universe and ctrl+z your early teenage years

and of course i was just reading my old blog that i kept in 9th and 10th grade (xanga.com/immaturitymuch?). i dont remember ever liking the color black so very much...needless to say, reading my old xanga makes me feel like i just swallowed a spoonful of coffee grounds and the aftertaste makes me BLEGH.

i think im gonna try to take up songwriting again. (years of self-indulgent emo-ing could only help, right?) one of my problems: i never like to write things down, especially not little bursts of musical ideas which require staff paper or some retardedly contrived ink blobs method scribbled onto some paper napkin. yup, i've definitely done that before. usually when i come up with a phrase in my head that i really like and want to hold on to, i just repeat it over and over as if that could imprint it in my memory, at least long enough for me to turn on my computer and open sibelius and create a new score and select instruments and select font and establish time and key sig and oh screw it. memory will do.

im going back to austin tomorrow. hopefully the weather will be forgiving.

im starving for some spinach and cheese quiche.